


Witcher Ciri versus the Evil of Bathtime

by james



Series: Cats and Witchers, Oh My [11]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Cat!Shifter Jaskier, Fluff, M/M, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, Slice of Life, So Much Cuteness, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: Eskel is a pretty good uncle, but is completely grateful he's not the one ultimately responsible for raising this child.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Cats and Witchers, Oh My [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771585
Comments: 20
Kudos: 254





	Witcher Ciri versus the Evil of Bathtime

Eskel was headed down the hallway to the storeroom, thinking he remembered there were some blank, or mostly blank, journals still to be had. Suddenly there was an ear-splitting shriek, the unholy shrill sound of a young child. Eskel was grateful that he'd finally learned the difference between happy shrieks, mad shrieks, give me the thing I want it shrieks, I hurt myself shrieks – well, Ciri did a lot of shrieking and she was incredibly good at it. Jaskier and Vesemir assured them all that it was normal behavior for a human two year old, and even if Eskel wasn't entirely convinced, it wasn't as though it was _his_ job to teach her to use volume control. 

As an uncle, it was his job to get her wound up and shrieking happily before handing her back to one of her fathers. Hopefully covered in mud and filled to the brim with sweets. And if Geralt objected, saying that her uncles were supposed to be “responsible” then it wasn't like Geralt could enforce any such thing and the rest of them could do as they pleased.

Served him right for becoming a father, Eskel would tell him, just to watch his brother's eye twitch.

Well. Not that Eskel _didn't_ worry, and didn't do everything he could to keep Ciri safe and happy and healthy, and teach her good, useful things like how to do the buckles on the tiny set of linen armor he and Lambert had made for her. Not entirely functional, but it looked like her Papa's armor which made her – well. Shriek with delight.

He was a tiny bit looking forward to getting back on the Path. Monsters were so much quieter. Villagers with rocks were calmer.

The fact that sometimes the keep seemed to shake a bit when she screamed? That was Yennefer's problem.

He heard the thundering patter of Ciri's footsteps behind him and he slowed his walk, prepared for the moment she either slammed into his leg or careened around him depending on who was chasing her and why. It sounded like Jaskier – and there was Ciri, zooming around Eskel, naked as the day – presumably – she'd been born.

Ah. Bath day. Ciri turned back and leapt against Eskel's leg, looking up at him beseechingly.

“Hide!”

“I think he's already seen me,” Eskel told her. 

“No! Hide!” She bounced on his foot, then shrieked – fucking Melitele the lungs on this child – and scampered around Eskel's leg as her daddy tried to grab her arm.

For several moments Eskel just stood there while Jaskier tried to get around him to get ahold of his daughter. Eskel wondered if he should try to help – but didn't, because he was the uncle and not the one who had to give a child her bath when she didn't want one.

Jaskier didn't seem to mind hanging onto Eskel for leverage, or shoving at him to try to get through him to Ciri who was shrieking with laughter and continuing to yell no. Jaskier was panting a bit, indicating that bathtime might have been intended to be some time ago and the chasing part had lasted awhile. On the other hand, he still seemed extremely amused and not irritated, so Eskel just stood there and let them chase around him like a tree.

After a moment, Jaskier stood up and gave Eskel a flat look while he caught his breath. “You could help,” he said.

“I'm under contract not to,” Eskel admitted. “A young girl asked me to hide her from the evil of bathtime, and while I didn't have the chance to do that, I am still obligated under the implied terms of the contract to prevent her from being caught.”

He heard Ciri giggle. Jaskier's eyebrows went up. “What were your terms of payment?”

“Unspecified. I believe the payment will come at the conclusion of the contract.”

“NO BATH!” Ciri yelled, and Eskel felt sure the entire population of Kaer Morhen heard her.

Eskel nodded. “When the bath has been avoided, I assume I'll get payment.”

He could see Jaskier fighting to hide his grin. “If she doesn't take her bath today, she'll just have to take it tomorrow. So technically, you won't ever get paid.”

“NO BATH!” Ciri yelled again and Jaskier winced, just a little. Eskel could feel as Ciri began trying to climb up him, and he reached back and gave her a hand to grab onto, then hoisted her up onto his shoulder so she could peer down at Jaskier.

Jaskier raised an eyebrow at him, clearly asking if he really intended on getting Ciri out of her bathtime.

“Hey, Ciri, do you want Uncle Eskel to teach you how to hold your breath underwater, like a Witcher?” Eskel asked her. Jaskier rolled his eyes, but muttered something that Eskel was fairly sure he wasn't supposed to be saying in front of an impressionable child.

But Ciri was nodding enthusiastically and clapping her hands.

“Why is it she will only do what we tell her Witchers do?” Jaskier asked, following them as Eskel carried Ciri on his shoulder, letting her bang on his head to tell him where to turn. 

“Because she wants to be just like her Papa,” Eskel said. There was a soft sigh from Jaskier, and Eskel gave him a smile. “She's too bloodthirsty to want to be a bard,” he said, apologetically.

“Eh, you've clearly never met any bards.” Jaskier waved a hand, but smiled. It was adorable beyond words how Ciri had latched onto Geralt and wanted to do everything exactly like he did, to the point they'd made half of her wardrobe to look like Geralt's. When she was dressed like him and standing beside him, looking every inch the miniature Witcher, they were all hard-pressed to not simply scoop her up and pinch her cheeks and coo over her – which she found annoying when she was trying to slay monsters with a tiny wooden knife.

They all teased Geralt about it, of course, and Geralt stammered and blushed, and crouched down to help Ciri hold her knife correctly and lectured her on alghouls versus graveirs. Yennefer threatened to start teaching her courtly manners, which usually led to Jaskier asking her if she had any to teach, which led to Jaskier-the-cat hiding under a piece of furniture for the remainder of the day.

If Ciri didn't show much interest in learning how to sing, she did absolutely love crawling around after Jaskier the cat. They'd caught her watching him transform with an extremely thoughtful look on her face and Jaskier had already started trying to reinforce the idea that she was _human,_ and he was an entirely different species who could do things that humans could not no matter how hard they wanted to.

Eskel wasn't sure it was sinking in, given the way her other trick for avoiding things like baths and naptime was to crawl around on her hands and knees, meowing and refusing to respond to human speech.

So far they'd got around that by Jaskier shifting forms and simply leading her into doing whatever they had wanted. Naptime meant finding Ciri draped over a fluffy grey cat who was perfectly willing to spend his afternoons sound asleep in a ray of sunshine.

When it came to baths, Ciri had tried a few times to argue that she could lick herself clean like the kitty, which had led to Jaskier sighing, and agreeing that maybe he would just shift back and use a washrag. He found it annoying, but Eskel had heard Geralt saying something about fewer hairballs, which had led to noises which made Lambert and Eskel take Ciri outside to play for awhile.

Right now, Eskel carried Ciri up to her fathers' room where they had a small washtub set up. Geralt also had a large one, big enough for two adults (or three if one was small, which Eskel was sure to explain with a pointed look at Lambert, who would then respond with words and gestures which Geralt had given up insisting they not teach his daughter.)

But Ciri was intimidated by the large tub unless Geralt was the one holding her, and Geralt had begged off parenting for half a day to go hunting with Vesemir. (Ciri had, of course, wanted to go hunting as well and Jaskier had tried to offer to help her hunt mice, but the keep mice always heard her coming half a league away and ran.)

Jaskier hurried ahead and checked the water, nodding that the temperature was still fine, so Eskel wouldn't need to try to sneak in an Igni on it. They were trying very hard not to let Ciri see them use Signs. They honestly had no idea what sort of magic she'd be able to do as she grew up, but they all agreed that learning to set things on fire was something that should not happen until she was much, much older.

“All right now, Ciri, learning to hold your breath under water is very useful when you're hunting things like kikimores, sirens, or anything that lives under water.” Eskel set her on her feet in the tub, holding her attention as he did so. She glanced down but didn't seem bothered by the water – possibly because no one had picked up the soap.

It might have been enough to simply get her in the water and splashing around a bit, but Eskel knew she'd actually been due a bath for a few days now. The last attempt Jaskier had made was disrupted due to Auckes letting her hide in his room, and yesterday she'd burst into tears and not even Yennefer had been able to force her into the washtub.

Eskel had a feeling if they didn't get her bathed today, she was going to successfully avoid having a bath for the rest of her life. 

He'd once thought, back when having Ciri around had been new and frightening, that it would be easy, raising a child with half a dozen adults around. Even as some of them came and went, going out on the Path to hunt monsters (and catch a break from the shrieking, which she'd started very soon after settling in and getting used to her new family), there were always three or four adults in the keep to care for her.

And yet it didn't seem to be easy at all, Eskel thought ruefully, as he described to her how to take a deep breath and clasp her fingers over her nose. He told her to go down then bounce right back up, then discovered that he had completely failed to take into account just how much water a small child could displace when she was told to “come back up fast.”

Jaskier just folded his arms and scowled at Eskel, looking very much like his husband.

Maybe tomorrow, he would return to the Path. He looked at the puddle of water soaking into the rug.

Or this afternoon, before Geralt got home.


End file.
